giving thanks

Thanksgiving is pretty much as American as it gets, well, aside from the 4th of July, I suppose, and the NFL, and baseball, and McDonalds. Anyway, it is American nevertheless. During college, I often went home for Thanksgiving, booking flights, going home for three days, eating a bunch of food, and returning a few pounds heavier back to Northwestern to buckle down for the exam grind.

But, now I live across the world. In a place that does not know when Thanksgiving is, or what it stands for. Pilgrims and Indians, blah blah blah, we all know the history, but what Thanksgiving really means for me is family. And here I am across an ocean and in a different hemisphere from those I love.

So what to do?

Clearly, do Thanksgiving in Africa.

My friend Sarah, not Sarah the roommate (who now lives in the States, TEARS!), from Frisbee was also excessively keen to make a little slice of America in South Africa, so she called up one of her friends, who happens to live in an absolute MANSION in Durban North, and asked if we could do Thanksgiving at his place. He said yes.

So, Sarah and I got to planning. We bought a turkey, potatoes, butternut, green beans, corn, apples, and shaped a menu. Then on Thursday around 1pm we rocked up at the giant white house with its own personal full time security guard and the giant attack dog that you are not allowed to pet, on the off chance he decides to chow you.

We spread out in the biggest kitchen I have ever had the privilege of cooking in. Massive stove, huge island in the middle, fantastic counter space, drawers filled will all kinds of pots, pans, utensils. There was a servant’s kitchen as well. That was a little awkward.

Sarah, Doug (another Frisbee mate who was generous enough to offer to come and spend the day cooking with us), and I got started. Sarah made turkey, garlic mashed potatoes, stuffing, and green beans, while I made butternut mash, corn pudding, cranberry Jell-O, and apple crumble for dessert. We were working from 1pm until 6pm. Of course, Doug and I took a break to play Frisbee with a Tupperware lid in the garden, but we mostly worked that whole time.

Winter, the boy whose house we crashed, was lounging around with his other (young) mates all day. Although they did offer to help occasionally, the boys mostly played video games or disappeared into an outside room space and closed the door. It got me thinking, as per usual, a lot about gender roles and about the people I choose to spend my time with. Or maybe just thinking about age and maturity. Around 18 year olds in Durban, I feel like a ballie (an old person).

Around 6pm, the other Prawn Bunnies (Frisbee team) arrived. I had persuaded Sarah to let us invite some of the other Frisbee okes, since I would not know her friends. We were able to make the numbers work, so Mike, Max, Werner and his girlfriend, Fiona, also arrived. The Bunnies had decided to go semi-formal, at my request, because dressing up is fun, and Thanksgiving is special.

Everything was ready, the counter was spread with all our delicious American goodies, and everyone grabbed a plate and piled the food high.

As the boys all sat down to eat, Sarah and I hugged and beamed with pride, we made a real American Thanksgiving happen.

We all sat, and ate and ate. We toasted to Thanksgiving and to friends, and split a few bottles of red wine. Only a few were able to uphold Thanksgiving tradition and eat two or three full plates. But all fell into a Thanksgiving food coma afterward.

Most of the younger boys left the table once they had finished eating, but the Bunnies stayed put, chatting and whatnot. I whispered to Sarah that I wanted to go around the table and have each of us say what we are thankful for. We did. A lot of toasts to good friends, and good food.

I spoke to how happy it made me to spend a holiday about family with people who are becoming my family in South Africa. Apparently, Sarah had pretty much said the same thing earlier (while I was up turning off the TV which was blasting music videos), but the guys told me that I said it better. We all laughed.

After dinner, we played pool, which ended up being an utter disaster. A glass or two of wine, plus a general lack of skill, left me and Werner (and to some degree Max) playing a nearly 45 minute long game. Then, it happened again with a game of doubles.

In between games, we ate apple crumble with vanilla ice cream, an American staple.

Later, we sat on couches and talked, took photos, and otherwise enjoyed each other’s company.

It was a really fantastic day. I went home really really happy and fulfilled.

I am already looking forward to Thanksgiving in South Africa next year.